Q: What is the difference between a smart BLONDE and Bigfoot
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.

Q: How do you confuse a BLONDE
A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: How can you tell when a fax has been sent from a BLONDE
A: There is a stamp on it.

Q: How can you tell if a BLONDE is a good cook
A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.

Q: What does a BLONDE say when you ask her if her blinker is on
A: It's on, it's off, it's on...

What do you call?

Q: What do you call a basement full of BLONDE'S
A: A whine cellar.

Q: What do you call a BLONDE at the bottom of the pool
A: An air bubble.

Q: What do you call a BLONDE behind a steering wheel
A: An air bag.

Q: What do you call 20 BLONDE'S standing ear-to-ear
A: A wind tunnel.

Q: What do you call a BLONDE in college
A: A visitor.

Q: Boyfriend said to his BLONDE girlfriend, I am going to go skeet shooting
A: But I don't know how to cook skeet.

Q: How do you measure a BLONDE'S intelligence
A: Stick a tyre pressure gauge in her ear.

Q: What do you do when a BLONDE throws a pin at you
A: Run .... She’s got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Q: How do you drown a BLONDE
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

Q: How do you keep a BLONDE in suspense
A: I'll tell you tomorrow.

Q: How do you keep a BLONDE busy
A: Write "pleases turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q: Why did the BLONDE stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like when she was sleeping.

Q: Why couldn't the BLONDE write the number eleven
A: She didn't know which 1 came first.

Q: Why do BLONDE'S have more fun
A: They are easier to keep amused

Q: What does a BLONDE say when told she is pregnant
A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?

Q: Why do BLONDE'S drive BMWs
A: Because they can spell it.

Q: How do you make a BLONDE laugh on Monday
A: Tell her a joke on Friday.

Q: Why do BLONDE'S have T.G.I.F. printed on their shoes
A: Stands for Toes Go In First.

Q: What do you do when a BLONDE throws a grenade at you
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: Why did the BLONDE climb over the glass wall
A: To see what was on the other side.

How many BLONDES’  ???

Q: How many BLONDES’ does it take to change a light bulb
A: 6 - 2 to read the instructions, 1 to find the switch, 2 to stand on, 1 to screw the bulb.

Q: How many BLONDES’ does it take to change a light bulb
A: Only one .... She holds it in the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her

Q: How many BLONDES’ does it take to play hide and seek
A: One.

Q: How many BLONDES’ does it takes to change a tyre
A: 5: 2 to get sodas, 2 to cry and 1 to call daddy.

BLONDE computer Jokes

Q: How do you know a BLONDE has been working at your computer
A: There is "white-out" all over the screen.

Q: How can you tell if another BLONDE been using the computer
A: There's writing on the "white-out".

Q: What's the difference between a BLONDE and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Q: What did the BLONDE think of the new computer?
A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.

Something involving air or his/her brain

Q: Why do BLONDE'S wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft.

Q: What is the BLONDE doing when she holds her hands over her ears
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: What does a BLONDE say when you blow in her ear
A: Thanks for the refill.

Q: What is it called when a BLONDE blows in another BLONDE'S ear
A: Data transfer

Q: Why did the BLONDE stare at the frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said, "Concentrate".

Q: Why did the BLONDE climb up to the roof of the bar
A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.

Q: Why don't BLONDE'S have elevator jobs
A: They don't know the route.

Q: Why do BLONDE'S work seven days a week
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Q: How does a BLONDE know if she's on her way home or on her way to work
A: She opens her lunch box to see if there is anything in it

Q: How did the BLONDE die drinking milk
A: The cow sat down

BLONDE Jokes involving M & M 's

Q: Why don't BLONDE'S make chocolate chip cookies
A: It takes to long to get the shells off the M & M's

Q: How many BLONDE'S does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies
A1: 10: one to mix the dough and nine to sort out the W's
A2: 3: one to make batter and two to peel the M & Ms.

Q: How can you tell if a BLONDE has baked chocolate cookies
A: There are M & M hulls all over the floor

Q: Why did the BLONDE get fired from the M & M factory
A: She threw out all of the W's.

Q: Why do BLONDE'S hate M & M's
A: They're too hard to peel.

Q: What job function does a BLONDE have in an M&M factory
A: Proof reading.

BLONDE Jokes involving Brunettes

Q: What is a BLONDE with Brunette died hair
A: Artificial intelligence

Q: Why are there BLONDE jokes
A: To make Brunettes jealous

Q: Why are BLONDE jokes so easy to understand
A: So Brunettes can understand them

Q: Why are there no Brunette jokes
A: Because BLONDE'S would have to think them up

Q: What do you call a Brunette standing between two BLONDE'S
A: Interpreter

Q: Why are BLONDE'S so dumb
A: So Brunettes can understand them

Q: A BLONDE and Brunette jumped off of a 20-story building. The brunette hit the pavement but not the BLONDE
A: She got lost.

Q: How do you sink a submarine full of BLONDE'S
A: Knock on the door

Q: Pepsi came out with a new can just for BLONDE'S
A: It has "open other end" printed on the bottom.

Q: What do you call a smart BLONDE
A: Labrador

Q: Why don't BLONDE'S ever become pharmacists
A: It's too hard to fit the bottle in the typewriter

Q: Why did the BLONDE purchase an AM radio
A: She didn't want one for nights

Q: Did you hear about the dead BLONDE in the closet
A: She was last years Hide and Seek winner

Q: How did the BLONDE burn her ear
A: The phone rang while she was ironing

Q: Why does a BLONDE smile when there is lightening
A: She thinks she is getting her picture taken

Q: There were 17 BLONDE'S standing outside a disco but they could not get in
A: The sign said, "Must be 18 to enter"

Q: How do you drown a BLONDE
A: Glue a dollar to the bottom of a pool

Q: How does a BLONDE make instant pudding
A: Places the box in the microwave, and looks for the "instant pudding setting”!

Q: How do you confuse a BLONDE?  Put three shovels against the wall and tell her
A: To take her "PICK"

Q: How do you drive a BLONDE crazy
A: Put her in a round room and tell her to stand in the corner

Q: Why did it take the BLONDE seven days to drive from St. Louis to Chicago
A: She kept seeing signs that read .... Stop clean bathroom

Q: Why can't a BLONDE make ice cubes
A: Don't know the recipe

A BLONDE went to the doctor's with burned feet, "how did you do it" asked the doctor?     "Cooking soup, the instructions said "Open can .... Stand in boiling water for seven minutes”

There were two BLONDE'S driving to Disney land in Los Angeles. They were looking for signs that would lead them there. One of them finally saw a sign. It said, "Disney, Left”  So they turned around and went back home!!

Q: Why didn't the BLONDE want a window seat on the plane?
A1: She'd just dyed her hair.
A2: She'd just blow-dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: Why don't BLONDE'S eat bananas?
A1: They can't find the zipper.
A2: They can’t find the pull-tab.

Q: How do you change a BLONDE'S mind?
A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer.

Q: Why do BLONDE'S wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.

Q: Why do BLONDE'S wear red lipstick?
A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."

Q: What's the mating call of the BLONDE?
A: "I'm *Sooo* drunk!"

Q: What is the mating call of the ugly BLONDE?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"

Q: What do you say to a BLONDE that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What's the first thing a BLONDE does in the morning?
A1: Introduces themself.
A2: Walks home.

Q: How can you tell which BLONDE is the waitress?
A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.

Q: What did the BA1: Because they don't know any better.
A2: They are easier to keep amused.

Q: Why should BLONDE'S not be given coffee breaks?    BLONDE customer says to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag)?
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one?"

Q: Why do BLONDE'S have more fun?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q: What did the BLONDE'S right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.

Q: Why couldn’t the Virgin Mary have been BLONDE?
A: Because then she would have been just 'Mary'

THE END (For Now)

Ok…..Hang On - Just ONE OR TWO MORE………

THE BLONDE’S REVENGE

-Why do brunettes like their dark hair colour?
It doesn't show the dirt.

-Who makes all the bras for brunettes?
Fisher-Price

-Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.

-Why are most brunettes flat chested?
It makes it easier for them to read their T-shirts.

-Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
It matches their moustache.

-Why is the colour brunette considered evil?
When's the last time you saw a blonde witch?

-How can you tell a brunette is lonely ?
Check her for a pulse.

-What is the most frustrated animal in the world?
A brunette rabbit.

-Why do brunettes wear training bras?
It's cheaper than changing their Band-Aids every day.

-Why did they quit selling brunette Barbie dolls?
Parents felt the dandruff might be contagious.

-How do brunettes get the tangles out their hair?
With a rake.

-Why don't brunettes get breast implants?
They've already spent their money on thigh & butt implants.

-Why did God create brunettes?
So ugly men wouldn't feel left out.

-What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
The invitation.

-Where do brunettes get the hair for a transplant?
From their underarm's.

-How do you describe a brunette whose phone rings on Saturday night?
Startled.

-What do you call a good-looking man with a brunette?
A hostage.

-How did Revlon come up with its brunette hair colour?
By studying what oil spills did to seaweed.

-What's the difference between a brunette and the trash?
At least the trash gets taken out once a week.

-What kind of costumes do brunette girls wear on Halloween?
They just stand on their heads and go as dirty mops.

-Why do brunettes have to pay an extra $2,000 for a breast job?
Because the plastic surgeon has to start from scratch.

-What did the frustrated brunette say to her uninterested lover?

'What part of *yes* don't you understand?'

 OMG,  EVEN MORE BLONDE JOKES……LONG

1. SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her licence. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my licence and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

2. EXPOSURE
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, Officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out.” he says. She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"

3. RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

4. BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

5. IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was,
"If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

6. FINAL EXAM
The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails.
Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still sweating it out.

During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam
in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."

7. RANSOM
There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note: I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7:00am. Signed, The Blonde.

She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note...."Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!"

8. AUTO REPAIR
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic "it died". After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor."
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"