|
How many
men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why is a
Laundrette a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be
able to support you.
Why do
women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
closer to the kitchen sink.
How do
you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me . . .."
How do
you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do
men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your
dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who
do you let in first?
The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's
worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told.
What do
you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
Marriage
is a 3 ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
Our last
fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said,
"Dust!"
In the
beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created man and rested.
Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Why do
men die before their wives?
They want to.
A
beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said,
"I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said,
"God, I wish I had your willpower."
Young
Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't
know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: That happens in every country,
son.
A
man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted." The
next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You
can have mine."
|
SHORT SEXIST JOKES
