This will be appreciated by anyone that has lived (or still lives) in a hot climate.

        Diary of an Alice Springs Summer (by an ex Brit)

August 31st

Just got transferred with work into our new home in Alice Springs!!  Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and  warm balmy evenings. What a place!  I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the veranda It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

September 13th:

Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a  pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.

September 30th:

Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of  palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me.  Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

October 10th

The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

October 15th:

Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

October 20th:

I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this  morning.  By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather  upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

October 25th:

The wind sucks. It feels like a giant fuc * kin blow dryer!! And it's hot as he * ll. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC  repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.

October 30th:

Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $300,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

November 4th:

It's 38 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today.  It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but the blo * ody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this  stupid fu * kin place.

November 8th:

If another wise ar * se cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm  going to fu * ckin throttle him. Fu * ckin heat! By the time I get to work  the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking fu * ckin wet,  and I smell like baked cat!!

November 9th:

Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on  the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my fu * ckin ar * se was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs  and my
fu * ckin arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ar * se,  and baked cat.

November 10th:

The weather report might as well be a fu * ckin recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny Hot and fuc * kin sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 da * mn months and the weatherman says it might really warm  up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn fu * ckin place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and  blow into the fu * ckin pool. Even the palms can't live in this fu * ckin  heat.

November 14th:

Welcome to HE * LL!!! Temperature got to 41 today. Now the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to  bail my ar * se out of jail for assaulting the stupid fu * cker. Fu * ck  Alice Springs!  What kind of a sick demented fu * ckin idiot would want to live  here?

December 1st:

WHAT????? .......This is the first day of Summer???? You are fu * ckin kidding..................