Don't upset me!! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.....

 

Of course I don't look busy......I did it right the first time !!!!

 

All stressed out and no one to CHOKE......

 

I sleep with my Teddy Bear, I know where he's been

 

I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?

 

Don't laugh. Your daughter could be in this vehicle.

 

There's one in every crowd and they always find me.

 

 Never play Leapfrog with a Unicorn....

 

Just when you think you've won the rat race along come faster rats.

 

The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

 

Don’t follow me, I'm lost too!

 

God, please protect me from your followers.

 

Of course you're faster, but I'm driving in front of you.

I drive the speed limit. If you don't like it call a cop!

If you can read this, you’re too close. (Written in brail)

Do Not Tailgate. Or I Will Flick a Booger on Your windshield!

I'm not in heat SO GET OFF MY TAIL !!!!!

This car protected by a pissed off mother with a .45 auto.

Hold on before you pass, I'm reloading.

I have PMS and a gun....."Excuse me, did you have something to say?"

 

Happiness is an automatic weapon with a belt feed

I still miss my ex...but my aim is getting better!

Fight crime, shoot back

My karma ran over your dogma.

 

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

 

Friends don't let friends drive naked.

 

If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!

  

Caution! Driver's applying make-up .........

The kids drive me crazy, I drive them everywhere

Why am I the only person on earth that knows how to drive?

FORGET ABOUT WORLD PEACE...VISUALIZE USING YOUR TURN SIGNAL !!

I drive this way just to piss you off.

Go on speeding, we'll cut you out (of your CAR) – FROM Your Fire Dept.

 

Go on, I'll see you at the next traffic light.

 

Get in. Sit down. Shut up. Hang on.

Lost your cat? Look under my tyres

 

I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac

<----Passing Side / Suicide---->

 

I wonder how you'd drive with that car phone shoved up your ass.

 

A man is not truly drunk until he can't lie on the floor without holding on

An Irishman is not drunk so long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the earth.

 

Don't drink and drive -- if you hit a bump you spill your beer.

The weather is Great here......Wish You were Beautiful

Beer isn't just for breakfast any more.

 

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

I have a problem with drinking... two hands and only one mouth

 

Honk if you hate noise pollution

Horn broken:  Watch for finger.

Honk if you love cheeses.

 

Honk if you're illiterate

 

Honk if the twins fall out

Honk if parts fall off!

 

My wife's other car is a broom.

This is not an abandoned vehicle.

 

Do Not Wash -  this vehicle is undergoing a scientific dirt test.

 

This car is like my HUSBAND; if it ain't yours don't touch it!

When you're in love, you're at the mercy of a stranger.

 

I'm the man of this house and I have my wife's permission to say so.

  

I got this motor home for my wife.... BEST deal I ever made!

LOVE: TWO VOWELS, TWO CONSONANTS, TWO FOOLS !!

Dad's the boss. Right Mommy?

Learn from your parent's mistakes - use birth control
 
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

 

Stop Inbreeding!  Ban country music.

 

When evolution is outlawed, only outlaws’ children will evolve.

A fool and his money are my best friends

It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

Money isn't everything...but it sure keeps the kids in touch!

Hit me, I need money.....

Thank God for the tax department……. Without them I'd be stinking rich!

If money could talk, it would say goodbye.

 

A fool and his money are soon partying

IF YOU'RE RICH, I'M SINGLE......

There are only 2 choices on the menu: take it or leave it.

I didn't work my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables.

If we weren't meant to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

 

Grow your own dope;    Plant a  Man.

 

Good Girls Go To Heaven; Bad Girls Go Everywhere.

FEW WOMEN ADMIT THEIR AGE, FEW MEN ACT IT !!

I'm the person your mother warned you about!

Men aren't pigs.... PIGS are gentle, cute creatures!

Missing, Husband And Dog;  Attention $100.00 Reward For Dog

If men had periods, they'd brag about the size of their tampons…….

When God made man she was only kidding!

Normal people worry me ??

Moody bitch seeks nice guy for love-hate relationship.

 

If you're happy and you know it see a shrink.

 

Madness takes its toll --  please have exact change ready.

If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?

I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.

 

Life's too short to dance with ugly men.

 

Life's too short to dance with ugly women.

 

My other wife is beautiful.

 

Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m.

 

Never fight ugly people they have nothing to loose

If you think I'm a drunk driver you're wrong, I'm a blonde…………

When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

HE WHO LAUGHS LAST THINKS SLOWEST

Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all of Its students.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

My wife says if I go fishing one more time, she's going to leave me.

Gosh, I'm going to miss her.

 

The worst day fishing is better than the best day working.

 

The question of fishing is not a matter of life or death...

It's more important than that.

 

PURITANISM: THE HAUNTING FEAR THAT SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE MAY BE HAPPY

 

Work is for people who don't know how to fish

 

Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.

 

I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.

 

Don't steal. The government hates competition.

Support your local undertaker - DROP DEAD!

 

Archaeologists will date any old thing

Please don't tell my Mama that I work on an oil rig.….

She thinks I'm a piano player in a whorehouse.

 

WE HAVE ENOUGH YOUTH, HOW ABOUT A FOUNTAIN OF SMART ??

Support a Lawyer - Become a Doctor

 

Humpty Dumpty WAS Pushed....

It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.

 

Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.

 

Worry, God knows all about you.

 

Jesus is coming, look busy!

 

Suicide is a way of telling God 'you can't fire me, I QUIT!'

 

If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.

 

When you do a good deed get a receipt (in case heaven is like the IRS).

 

Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.

 

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

 

Smile, it makes people wonder what you've been up to!

 

Is there life before coffee?

   

Cynics are people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing.

 

Flying saucers are real; the Air Force doesn't exist.

 

I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be.

 

I'd rather be over the hill than under it.

 

I've run out of sick days, so I am calling in dead...

Nonconformists are all alike.......

Hug your kids at home - Belt them in the car!

Car will explode upon impact

Don't piss me off.   I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

Don't laugh at these fogged up windows it's your daughter in here.

 

HANG UP AND DRIVE !!

  

DIPLOMACY IS THAT ART OF SAYING "NICE DOGGIE!"...TILL YOU CAN FIND A ROCK

If you love your life as much as I love my car then you won't steal it

Hire Teenagers while they still know everything...........?????

 

Let me tell you about my bowel movements.

If you are not the lead truck, the scenery never changes.

I'm pro choice, I choose to hunt, trap, eat meat and wear fur.

Due to recent cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

The light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train.

Next time you think you're perfect, try walking on water.

 

I will never put off 'till tomorrow what I can forget about forever

  

Do Not Meddle In The Affairs Of Dragons For You Are Crunchy And Good With Ketchup.

One who Farts in Church sits in his Own Pew.
  
Very funny Scotty, Now beam down my Clothes!!!

I Hate Coffee -- It Keeps Me Awake at Work.

I want to make love in the worst way--standing up in a canoe

The more people I know, the more I love my dog.

The best way to change someone's mind is with a rock

 

PRIDE IS WHAT WE HAVE - VANITY IS WHAT OTHERS HAVE ! 

 

Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.

Hard work has a future payoff, but laziness pays off now.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

 

I  want to die in my sleep like my Grandfather........

NOT,  Screaming and Yelling like the passengers in his Car !!

A friend in need... can be a real pain in the ass.

If you must burn our flag, please wrap yourself in it first.

 

Heaven doesn't want me, and hell is afraid I'll take over ......

FINALLY --  BE KIND TO YOUR CHILDREN -- THEY CHOOSE YOUR NURSING HOME.

Feel Free To Send Me Your Own Bumper Stickers.....